not just the hits

Tag: being a mother (Page 2 of 2)

Negative Moments

July_2_06

Typed Text From Journal Page (spelling errors may have been corrected):

07/02/06

Well, Brandon.  You’re at the Anime Expo and Emma, you are playing Sims – you did not to with your father this summer.  It is a hot summer.  Emma, we just had a negative moment.  I never know what it is that set you off.  You were retrieving messages from your voicemail and you snapped when i tried to fix your shirt strap.  I don’t know why you became angry, but you slapped my hand.  At first I thought you were kidding, but you slapped it again and snapped at me – it was pretty hard.  I slapped your hand back.  I was surprised, I don’t know why, at how angry you became over something to simple.  Then again this is how you sometimes get.  You were more upset about listening to your friends message.  You don’t know how hard it is to be me.

Love Mom

My Life Is Your Kharma

June_28_06

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06-28-06

My loves of my life:

A lot has transpired over the past months.  So much that my energies were insufficient and my desire to communicate much of the events was non-existent.  My relationship with Andrew has come to a close.  You have both been privy to glimpses of what people can become in moments of emotional distress.  It was just a couple of nights ago that Andrew dared come by the house unwelcome and uninvited.  I felt such rage as I felt him invading and endangering our space – your space.  I especially was protective of you Emma.  You are going through such a rough time with your father.  But, you are growing so much as a result.  I know how painful it can all be sweety.  I know how much you love daddy.  You need to know that what has happened and will happen is not your fault or responsibility.  You father has always been a martyr.  he was when I met him, and he is to this day.  Perhaps in the years to come he might find light in the love he may have for you.  You both have definitely been my light, my strength, my courage, my love, my life.  Without the two of you I am nothing.  Brandon, you are getting ready to go to the Anime Expo – I don’t now why, but my heart aches, and tears flow forth at the thought of you being gone.  I don’t know if it is the reality that you are growing up, or fear that something might happen to you, or a premonition – I hope I am wrong.  I pray for both of you everyday, every night, when I wake up in the middle of the early morning, at all hours of the day.  I pray God always watch over you and continue to strengthen my spirit and breathe me life.  I am almost done with school – my MA in administration.  I’ll be taking my comps in the Fall, and then I’ll be done.  In the meantime I await the decision of the College Ready Charter School folks.  We’ll see if I get the AP position for which I interviewed.  There is much that I need to do for myself – for you guys.  I often become overwhelmed and find sleep a great escape.  I have neglected writing with all that has consumed me.  Andrew really did deprive me of energy – so needy was he.  I am still at the stage where he does not wish to let go, pouting and tantrums about ending this.  So much so that I have forbidden him to come around or contact me in any way.  I was so enraged the other night I could have hurt him had he insisted on not leaving.  I have not felt that type of rage in such a long, long time.  I felt, I suppose as a lioness would feel protecting my cubs.  You two are my universe and everything around and inside of it.  I love you both so, so, so very much.  In fact, Gig and you, Emma, went out and bought Walters’ red shoes.  I wrapped them and somehow it was decided that I would drop them off.  But I cannot.  I cannot for so many reasons – It is mean, sneaky, negative and my karma may be effected.  Plus, it would be a form of deception, which is a lie and I cannot lie.  So, I am going to let the girls down.  I cannot help it.  I love you two so incredibly much.  I would not dare taint your karma with mine.  I so hope that you are both as close as you can maximum be – as close to each others hearts as you are to mine.  Brandon, don’t forget you are a role model to your sister in the area of a male and how a male should be.  And Emma, you keep looking at the successes and promises of gain, not at your losses.  Keep your eye on the glass half full, not the one that is half empty.  And let go of the baggage.  Brandon, don’t be lazy.

I love you,

Mom

Any Good

January_8_06

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1/8/06

Every day I ask God to watch over you.  I ask him to watch over me.  I thank him for doing so thus far and pray for strength – continued strength.  Life has been a challenge, but it has been good to us.  We are in a good place.  I worry that I will not be able to keep it up.  I worry that I will “drop the ball” and fail you as a mother and as your protector.  If I ever do, please always remember that I love you and you have always been my main focus, priority, concern.  You two are my world, you are the reason I am any good.  Without your guidance and your love I would be lost.

You are my world,

Mom

Pushed to One’s Limit

November_7_05

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We never know what people are capable of doing until you push them to their limits.  This can be both a positive as much as a negative outcome.  Up until this moment in my life I have unfortunately only seen the negative impact of someone’s limits being met.  Perhaps some day I will see a magnificent positive outcome.  Perhaps, someday my children, you will push your boundaries, expanding them and recreating them.  What keeps people from becoming completely horrible people, when pushed too far, in their sense of rational, logical thought – one’s ability to control oneself.  Without this, we give in to the “animal” response of human nature.  I worry about you, my Emma.  You have a tendency to five in to this response.  I don’t know if it is because you wait too far before you bring a conflict to a head, or if it is because you lack the tools to clearly and more positively express your worries and concerns.  The worse part of all of this is that no matter how much I try, the various approaches I can come up with, the various solutions I may offer none fit.  and the bottom, bottom line is that none will “fit” until you decide you are ready to change the way you cope and deal with your conflicts.

My Greatest Fear

August_18_05

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8-18-05

My greatest fear;

Dying before you two are ready for me to die.  If it weren’t for the two of you God knows what my life would be today.  I live for the two of you.

My greatest fear;

Anything happening to either one of you.  I would die, my world would end, my heart would break, I would be nothing.  I pray that God and all the powers that be protect you from harm.  Everyday I ask for this as often as I can.

My greatest fear;

Not preparing you for life. Everyday is a learning day.  Make it so.

Love Mom

We’re Okay

August_16_05

Typed Text From Journal Page (spelling errors may have been corrected):

8-16-05

I look at my parents and I am filled with mixed emotions about what is an acceptable explanation about why their children are out of control, and what is not.  Then I wonder, who am I to judge? I try to understand certain situations.  And then I hear the explanation and I wonder which part is reason and which part is excuse.  The truth is that many of these parents look to us for answers.  Many of them look to us to solve their problems.  Many look to us to take their problems away.  The reason I am telling you two this is because I wonder what I did that made things turn out okay for us.  Despite our challenges, despite the banter between us, we’ve done well.  None of you are on drugs (I hope), none of you beat people up, none of you are truant, none of you have run away from home.  We’ve had our moments, mostly you Emma and I, Brandon occasionally , but all-in-all we’re okay.  I hope we continue to improve – I know we will. You two have always driven me – you and the moments when I would become angry about our situation or some unfair or unkind thing your father would do.  I would push harder, faster, become stronger.  Some people ask me how I do it, or did it.  The truth is looking back I do not know, I do not remember.  All I know is that I knew what needed to be done and I focused.  I did it.  And I did it without compromising my values and my dignity.  I know who I am, and I am constantly working at being a better person.  I try to reflect on my experiences, my thoughts, my actions, my words as I speak them, and I ask for guidance.  Mostly what I wish to stress is focus and drive.  Stay positive, strong, and good and think about what you’re doing and why.

I Love you guys, Mom!

To the Moon?

August_12_05

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8-12-05

As if by writing or not writing or not verbalizing fears and thoughts (I avoid writing them or verbalizing them) I could actually avoid experiencing them.  I don’t remember if I have ever written or said anything in the past about my fear of dying before you two are ready.  But, if I do I want you to know one thing, I love you as if or as much as the world, universe, and the unknown beyond is big. You are my world.  Emma, I wish you would let me hug you more.  Brandon, don’t ever feel sad when I’m gone.  Be a man.  Both of you, one never knows what the world has in store for us.  Live a good life.  Hopefully, God has great plans for me, still.  I wish to be around to fulfill each one of his plans for me.  I cannot ever express enough how much I love you both!

LOVE Mom

This Feeling of Joy

Feb_14_05

Typed Text From Journal Page (spelling errors may have been corrected):

2/14/05 12:12

I’ve just finished entering my assignments into my calendar so as to take a bird’s eye view of all of my “stuff”. It’s going to be a long year.  And I’ve no idea how I’m going to make it.  I’m tired.  I keep trying to think of ways to get more energy.  I just can’t see any.  I keep hoping that by doing all that I do the day will come when I won’t feel so tired.

I worry so much about leaving you guys without a chance to live.  I worry about dying too young, before you’re ready to be without me.  I want to “clear up” all my stuff before I let you go – or leave your world.

I don’t know how my soul would rest if I left you too soon.

I love you two soo much – You are my everything.  Someday, you too will know this feeling of joy.

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