Typed Text From Journal Page (spelling errors may have been corrected):
1/9/05
My It’s really 1/10/05, because it’s 1:22 in the morning. I decided to finally go to bed so I go make my rounds. Emma, I check to see that you are covered. Brandon, I walk upstairs to make sure you’re okay. I find you with the T.V. on and on the computer. Earlier I had to get on your case about not following through on the diving memos.
What am I suppose to do. I figure I let you slide on too much just because I am usually taken up w/Emma’s NEEDS. I warned you that if you’re not handling your stuff you’re not to ask me about the guys.
Every time I reprimand one of you my stomach turns. I ask God for help and guidance. I look for strength in every crevice. You both need structure and clear expectations. I thought I was giving you both those things, but I realize you both have too much. You want, I give. I’ll need to set some time aside tomorrow/today to list what is expected. If you both continue to not “get it” you’ll get a real feel of what it was like for me as a child.
You have more than I could ever dream of having at your age. Brandon, by your age I was married and making a home for myself and my husband. Emma, I was barely getting my own room at yours.
I need to set some limits. I need to pull back. I need to provide the learning I feel you both lack – You need to learn discipline in all aspects of your life.
Love – Momma
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