Jan_10_96

Typed Text From Journal Page:

dear Brandon and Emma

this is not the first letter or note I may have written to you, but it is the first entry in an official log for you to keep.

many things have happened in your lives that today make you who you are. you are people of great character today and when you read these pages you will still be.

I am writing to you together in this book because I hope you two will always remain together.  I hope this book will be a single of many bonds you have keeping you together  today as children I express anxiety, distress when I see the two of you argue or fight.  that is only because I wish for the two of you to recognize who and what you are in each others lives.  when I no longer am in between the two of you, either pulling you apart or pulling you together I hope the pages to come will be there in my place.

my love for the two of you is eternal and infin[i]tely large.  for your sister tory as well. I hope that as you read these pages, or future ones, you find yourselves together.  I also write to her, in another book, perhaps you can sit and compare my thought for each of you. Perhaps you can better understand me through these pages and this ink.

this book, and future ones like it, are intended to help you reflect upon those things you find yourself not understanding. Perhaps things you do not understand today as you read or things you remember from our past.

if you find me making reference to a single person in these writings do not try to figure out who I am speaking of if I do not make mention of a name.  the contents of these pages are intended for both of you. together you must, together, through these pages you will also better understand me. I know it is difficult. I am a person with many passions, many thoughts, many dreams.  I strive for much too much sometimes and other not enough.  I hope someday I will have learned how to measure my steps and reaches.  If I do not perhaps I am not to do anything different than I already am.

I shall leave this note for the time being.

With much love

Mom

1-10-96 10:05 pm.