May_24_05

Typed Text From Journal Page (spelling errors may have been corrected):

5/24/05

Well my children, it’s perhaps the first time that you have both shared being in trouble.  And while it is for different reasons, you are both sharing the burden of knowing you’ve hurt me.

Emma, for you it is not the first time you fit or tantrum over something, but I usually accept your indirect and irresponsible apology that comes the following day in pretense that nothing is wrong.

Brandon, your error comes in the same form it usually comes, the telling of a lie.  I pray for guidance.  I have dedicated my life to you two since my separation from your father and I feel as if I have done all and gained no respect from your knowledge and understanding of my actions.

How do I change this? How do I continue from here? What more do you need? I hope and pray that too has a reason, and a positive outcome.

I always say that things occur because they should.  I only wish the change that occurrences bring are positive ones.

I work soo hard. I know neither of you yet comprehends all that I do.  Hopefully you will never feel my sorrow, pain, and disappointment.  Learn from our paths.  I know I am not leaving you much, but I have hopefully altered the path my ancestors laid into a richer one.  I have hopefully injected your lives with possibilities.  Take advantage of all the opportunities that come your way.  And above all love, honor and respect yourself and one-another.  May God and all the spiritual and universal beings continue to watch over you and guide you and protect you from harms way.

I Love You Both With All My Heart and Soul – Mom 5 ’05