Category: Family (Page 1 of 4)

Pursuit of “Happyness”

October 3, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

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It’s a new year. I’m finished with school, again, and I just don’t know where I’m going next. We need to figure out a way to do better. Not that we are not doing well, but I just am so tired of struggling and not being able to be whimsical. Yet, I must give thanks to God for giving me the strength to come this far.

We watched Pursuit of Happyness today. The little boy tells this joke about a man that was drowning, yet he turns down two boats that happen by and offer to rescue him. He tells them that God will save him. After drowning he asks God why he did not save him. God tells the man he sent him two boats.

I wonder, do we just not see the salvation that is right in front of us? We keep looking for magical miracles and miss out on the tangible things. I just want to teach you guys right. I want to make you ready, and I don’t want you to be lazy. I don’t want you to quit and I don’t want you to think that everything is always so easy. Things can be, but not everything is. I don’t want you to be afraid of making tough decisions. I don’t want you to be afraid of making mistakes – just learn from them. Look around you and learn from your surroundings. Don’t learn all of your lessons from me. I’m not perfect. But, you both know that. I look at your pictures and time has just passed so quickly.

Emma, you never let me hold you enough.

Brandon, you grew old too fast. You both need to keep a little youth in you.

Emma, you need to learn to mind your temper and your tongue – that will be your cross.

Brandon, you need to learn to follow through and think – stop complaining.

Love, Mom

Lions and Tigers and Bears

October 2, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

November_29_06

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11/29/06

Lions and tiger and bears, oh my! So much goes on in our lives and we manage. College applications, car accidents, Quinceañeras, tight finances, more responsibilities on the job, and just the run of the mill daily stuff. Just when I am feeling overwhelmed a ray of rejuvenating light is shone upon our lives. Brandon – you are overdone with college applications and transcripts, and six more months of high school. Yet, the possibility of a car brought a glow to your face. Emma – you are so excited about the prospect of wedding planning, and you’re actually researching “stuff” about it; schools, articles, traditions – you’re focused. Anything is possible. Things are good.

It Hurts Me More

October 1, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

November_18_06

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11/18/06

Being a parent is no easy role – The day has been trying. Brandon – you did not get to get your Wii tonight. I don’t know if you miscalculated your funds or spent more than you thought, or lost some of it, but you did not have enough. It is so heart breaking for me to see you lose out on something – but I can’t bail you out. There is that old saying, “It hurts me more than it hurts you.” Boy is that ever true. Your every little disappointment, discomfort, or pain becomes my own and I wish I were the only one to experience it. But without those lessons we are but empty vessels. Your sister was so upset for you. She was so willing to come to your rescue. Em, you are such a good sister. But, I’m glad that you held your tongue and did not come to your brother’s rescue. After all, this was not a life or death matter. Hopefully, those will never come, but when the urgency arrives then that will be the time. Mama, you must always know that my heart breaks for both of you – for you the same as it does for your brother. I have not shared my feelings about your car accident, but not a day goes by that I myself do not relive that day. I drive past General Hospital everyday and everyday I remember.

Love, Mom

All Things Are Good

September 29, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

November_15_06

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11/15/06

The journey of life continues, and we continue along its path. College applications difficult to fill and reading pieces difficult to follow. But, I know that in the end we will always advance. Life has been good to us, as experience has provided that example. My efforts at Burbank are being seen now-And I’m not there. I know some of it is people’s fond memories of what things use to be like. But I know some of it is also what things were truly like. I worked hard at Burbank and I will continue to work hard. Much for you-much for me, much for what I do. All things pass and all things are good – even the bad. You just need to kepp the faith – in what your doing, why and who for. Love Mom

Let it be Difficult for Me Now

September 20, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

November_13_06

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11/13/06

As I was dozing while you guys each worked on something for school I could hear the two of you in the background. Brandon, you on the cello, and Emma, you on my computer – typing a journal entry for your drama class. You are both tired and frustrated, but of course, for different reasons. Brandon, the month will be long, filling out college applications and practicing more on your cello. Emma, you are, and will continue to be recovering from your accident. Your frustrations are valid. I hate to see the two of you struggle. I wish I could simply solve all of the woes that come your way and make everything right all the time. But life is not like that. And I have to keep telling myself that somethings I just have to let you “do”. I don’t always like it – It is difficult – for me. Let it be difficult for me now, and not for you later. I love you with all my blood and Soul.

Mom

When it Rains, Look for the Silver Lining

September 18, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

July_24_06

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07-24-06

Boy-When it rains it pours, and the, if you keep your eyes open, a little silver lining. Well, I’ve been processing all of the “paperwork” for leaving the District only to continue encountering one pebble in the road after another. To make matters slightly more taxing, the car over heated, and I don’t know just how bad it is. I hope I did not kill anything major. I had to leave it at the gas station down the road, I hope it’s okay. If it isn’t one thing, it’s something else. Money is pretty tight right now. Pinching pennies. I hope things let up soon. God give me strength. Still no word from the IRS on replacing the stolen check, I need to call them too. And, your father’s fiasco is fresh on my mind. Argh! But, (silver lining) my teacher, who is some District employee is really nice and is willing to look at my letter to the District regarding my resignation. And, my student Juan called. I haven’t heard from him in a while. I’ll call him tomorrow. So, I’ll just have to sleep on my troubles so I have the strength to fight them away tomorrow. My babies, I just want a better life for both of you. I hope that by the time you read these pages I have done that.

I Love You Two Sooooooo Much!

You are my Universe!

I am nothing Without You!

I Love You –

Mom

Your Father is the One to Lose

September 17, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

July_21_06

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07-21-06

Well, today your father truly outdid himself. Brandon, your uncle Jamie got you a game to coach in So. Pas and your dad tried to take it away. If ever I felt rage it was tonight, towards your father. Baseball bat to the car and all. But, I truly believe that God and the universe are mighty. And Kharma is a powerful thing. Your grandfather George died alone. The only kindness he received was out of pity, not love, not respect. This happened because he was just as much a father to his seven children as your father has been to you and Emma. Your father is a jealous man. He is jealous of our success without him, just like his father was. He is now repeating the very same mistakes his own father made, with you and Emma. The worst part is that he is hurting you and Emma. But, why should you be spared merely because he know what it is like. I was joking about you changing your name, to end the cycle of the Nishinaka curse. After the joke I truly considered it to b a good idea. you and Emma are too good to be called Nishinaka. Emma, you were so hurt. I know you love your dad, and I understand that kind of love. An you are doing such a great job at standing your ground against daddy’s injustice. I know it has been difficult and painful, but this is something you must learn to do. If you let your father walk all over your heart, he will keep doing it. You and Brandon need to “keep together”, no matter what happens. Your father is the one to lose here.

You two are my universe, my system.

Mom-

Odd People

September 13, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

July_4_06

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07-04-06

Pops – You came back from your Anime Expo thing today. While you talked about the “weird guy” all I could think about was that it’s odd people like him that can turn an exciting experience into a scary one. What if this guy had turned out to be a mental freak and harmed one of you? The human being is an unpredictable living creature. I am glad you’re home. I worry about you growing up. Don’t always be so trusting.

Momma – You’re spending the night at grandmas for the fourth. I worry about you with the cousins sometimes. They’re not all sane. And you sometimes venture to be the bold one. There is no need for that. Slow down, observe more than you participate, and when you do, make it count.

Love Mom

The Stuff That Consumes You

September 12, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

July_3_06

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07-03-06

Hey Bug-

You fell asleep on the living room floor tonight. I went to give you a kiss goodnight, which you make difficult usually. You were so asleep. Your jaw was relaxed and you were truly asleep. You looked so pure and open. I rarely get to see that “you”. I was able to give you a kiss goodnight and admire how great you are when you’re not worried about the “stuff” that consumes you. I Love You –

Mom.

Negative Moments

September 11, 2018 / Suzette / 0 Comments

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07/02/06

Well, Brandon. You’re at the Anime Expo and Emma, you are playing Sims – you did not to with your father this summer. It is a hot summer. Emma, we just had a negative moment. I never know what it is that set you off. You were retrieving messages from your voicemail and you snapped when i tried to fix your shirt strap. I don’t know why you became angry, but you slapped my hand. At first I thought you were kidding, but you slapped it again and snapped at me – it was pretty hard. I slapped your hand back. I was surprised, I don’t know why, at how angry you became over something to simple. Then again this is how you sometimes get. You were more upset about listening to your friends message. You don’t know how hard it is to be me.

Love Mom

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